Play With Me

Play With Me

Michayla. My age doesn't concern you. Fuck off.

datunofficialdisneyprincess:

howaboutdisney:

this is absolutely gorgeous 

It’s all about the eyes.
You always make sure the eyes are perfect.

bluewalrushair:

diccups:

unclefather:

My mom said “It’s easter aren’t you going to shower” I don’t care whos birthday it is. I am not going to shower.

take a shower

nO

Posted 10 hours ago With 3,002 notes

starcecilia:

untilthesunburnsout:

fuk off jan

I love him.

officialunitedstates:

Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.

The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 

I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.

The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.

Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”

"Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?"

"That’s your job to know, now isn’t it."

After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.

My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 

"Steve," I said, "Have a seat."

He did.

"I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan."

Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”

Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”

"Not in the literal sense…" said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 

"Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family."

Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”

★★★

siccity:

no one understands my love for Wednesday Addams

gokuma:

autumnramble:

I want to die and be born again as a full hobbit.

I think hobbit metabolism work differently than human…

i-like-pigeons:

Things that I write:

  • Sins

Things that I don’t write:

  • Tragedies

Things people haven’t heard of

  • Closing the god damn door

Things the Bride is:

  • A whore

Things I wouldn’t be caught dead in: 

  • This Place

Posted 5 days ago With 182,034 notes

routeninetyfour:

ive posted this song to tumblr way too many times but its one of my favourite ever songs. its great to listen to sober, its great to listen to high. great when you’re sad, great when you’re happy. great when you’re having your late night cigarette. i could listen to this song all day and each time i’ll enjoy it a little bit more. I need ‘get free’ tattooed on me one day. enjoy

johnentwlstle:

msg me if u want hints

“There is no death in nature. Just a reshuffling of atoms.”

Gj, Top of the Lake (via themeaningofsweetpea)

Posted 6 days ago With 1,707 notes

“To bae or not to bae”

William Shakespeare (via fuckinq)

Posted 6 days ago With 29,167 notes